Firstly, my boss is no longer my boss. You'd know that if I wrote more often. I was promoted in May, and we were no longer limited to the company policy about fraternization. We immediately quipped, "we can hang out together now!" She has been asking which gym I go to, and trying to get me to switch to LA Fitness for the last year or so. I go to Bally's, and due to above explanation, was not willing to switch. One of my guests (we'll call him Fred) often came in to the store and would immediately talk about how he works out 2 hours every afternoon, and how much he loves his gym. He would always end up insulting me without realizing it, and I chalked it up to his being from Jordan, or a neighboring country where the customs were different, especially between men and women. Conversations would go like this:
"Hi, Fred."
"Hi, have you been to the gym lately? I am about to go for 2 hours."
"Yes, I've been 2 times since Monday."
"Oh. You should change gyms. The clientele at LA Fitness is much better. Do you like your gym?"
"It's affordable, it works for me."
"Ah. How much would you like to lose?"
"Um. Some?"
"Well you have to stop drinking pop, and absolutely no sugar. Absolutely none. Sugar just makes things look like they do here and here and here (he says, pointing to my body)." Does he know I don't drink pop? Yep.
"What can I help you with today, Fred?"
After I finish helping him, he invariably hands me a card, either a gym referral card or a handyman card (this man only knows the home improvement that I have taught him over the last year (Lord help him), but the card is cool, because it has little magnets in it. It kills me when the ones who don't know what they're doing have the coolest cards. I've begun looking for the bad advertising to find a good service :) Anyway, this kind of conversation went on pretty regularly, and I always somehow managed to feel bad after!
I got used to my gym, and went to yoga every week for a while (and still hit it sometimes). It took 8 months, countless phone calls, letters, emails, threats of reporting to the BBB, more letters in bright envelopes and me actually using the phrase "I'll hold" twice, but Bally's FINALLY got my reimbursements correct through my insurance. It was one of the more frustrating situations of my life, asking Bally's to fix a typo, but we don't need to go in to that. This is a happy post :)
On December 6th, I received a letter in the mail that stated that Bally's had been sold to LA Fitness, and all the Minnesota locations were closing, save for 2, which were to become LA Fitness locations. This change would take place on December 1st. I was annoyed, but not surprised. I mean, 8 months to fix a typo? Telling me they sold 5 days after the fact? Classic Bally's. My location was one that was staying open, and I was told I had the choice to pay $30 a month and be stuck in my own club location, or pay $30 a month and go to any location I wanted. Since my former boss (we'll call her Gwen for the rest of the blog) and Fred (boo, Fred) both went there, I upgraded to other locations. This is all just a really ridiculously long explanation for what happened this week.
This week, I told Gwen that I updated my account, and can go to any LA Fitness, because Bally's is dumb. She got really excited, and we both agreed we should workout. You may recall she is tall and athletic, so this is a bit of an unnerving idea for me. She said she hadn't worked out all year basically, and suggested we go walk on the treadmill for 15 minutes. OK. So we got to the gym, and things got embarrassing for her pretty quickly. It went like this (all me). and I will let you guess which comment was found the most inappropriate:
"Holy big."
"The pool is twice as big! And the tiling for the lanes is straight!!!"
"My whole gym, including the pool, is the size of the lobby!"
"Wait, none of these machines are out of order?"
"There's no rust on any of these machines!"
"Is that sauna only for women!?!?!?!?!?!"
"Oh my gosh! Look at this locker room!"
"Those lockers are twice as big. They have wooden doors. There's no rust in here!"
"Zumba at 4:30? Can we go? Can we go?" (jumping up and down)
You get the picture. There are some definite differences between the two locations.
So we started our 15 (20) minute treadmill walk, and Gwen immediately started looking around. She was most impressed by the guys in the courtyard below doing pull ups. I think that's a goal of hers. The guy next to me ran the whole time we were on the machines, and so she ran for bursts of 3-4 minutes. I may or may not have accidentally hit the emergency stop and had to start over. There's no way to know for sure. After that, she let her competitive side out (she played 3 sports in high school. 3 sports. Who does that?), and thought we should do 20 minutes on something else. So we did the bikes for 20 minutes. I may or may not have tried to adjust my seat while pedaling and made a horrendous noise, as well as become suddenly, drastically uncomfortable. There's no way to know for sure. Then, we should of course do some strength training, so we did the hip something-or-other, where you lay down and allow weight to be put on your elevated feet, and you push. I kept thinking I was going to hit myself in the eye with my knee, and that this must be what childbirth is like for some women, knees up, pushing, all the midsection having to be misplaced somewhere. Terrifying. :()
Last night we went to Zumba. Half the class was new. That was nice. It was fun, you dance for 3-5 minutes per song, then take a break while she finds the next song. The music is fun, but clearly out of Miami. The dances are fun; there is Cha-Cha, Salsa, Meringue, Ballet, Hip Hop and a lot of hoochie mama moves. Those felt the most unnatural for me. The instructor was this cute little clubbie (a girl who likes the clubs) looking like NSYNC up there, and I felt bad for watching her butt to try and figure out what she was doing with it, exactly. I could not get the pumps and the thrusts quite right. The lady in her 50's next to me was doing pretty good, but I felt like John Cusack before he was cool. I got a lot of other stuff down well, but those hoochie mama moves just don't come easy for me. I guess that's a good thing, but it doesn't do much for the old self esteem :) It was fun. Next week I'll try spinning. And I think I'll do Zumba again. There was one lady there who got certified in Zumba on Saturday, and she was very excited, but she left after 2 songs. Not sure what to do with that.
So, the quest for fitness continues; won't Fred be pleased. I haven't seen him since August, when he told me he had a brain tumor and I wouldn't see him for a couple of months. I hope he's well. Perhaps I will run in to him one of these days...at the gym. :)
Hopefully we'll get the insurance figured out, now that I am spoiled by a large gym. One lady said this location was small! I will need to do some more investigating. It is a very open layout, and every body can watch everybody else. But they have racquetball courts, and I think I may invest in some of that equipment. Good times. Must wear better shoes. :)
The song of the day is in honor of my recent moving it experience. Actually there are two today, because I can't decide which one to use. One fast one, one not. :) You all know I am full of paradoxes. I blame it on being born in Northern Lower Michigan. That's when it all started...
