Today is a Good Day to Panic.

I've sent in more resumes, I've called more people in HR offices across Minnesota. Nothing. Wait, that's not true. The job I was most excited about emailed me back with an offer for furthering my education. Seriously, why do these schools think I will choose them when they don't even advertise as schools? I did get 4 calls, each from a different number, all belonging to the "CareerInstitute", who seem to have a monopoly on Jack-Holery. Every time I Google the incoming number, it's already been reported as a harassment number. Glad I'm on their list. At least it's my Google number, so they don't know my real number, and I can mark each call as SPAM, which I love (I feel bad for SPAM, it's not the worst product in the world, but here we've associated it with unwanted fakeness and fake meat. Sorry, SPAM. Sorry, Hawaii. I'll come to the museum to pay my respects :P...yes there is a SPAM museum, you didn't know that? I'm surprised).

It's the rain today; it's heightening my sense of doom. I notice more and more lately that doom never feels the impending me coming on. The rain is reminding me that if I want to curl up on the couch and fall into my PMS headfirst, I totally can. That's not good. How many re-runs of Charmed can I really watch? I will not make that batch of brownies, pulled out for such an occasion. No, I will go volunteer with my friend today, as planned. I like volunteering; gets me out of my head. Usually. There are some times when I meet a friend for a walk, or ride along while they shop or meet for lunch, that everywhere I go, I think, "Could I work here? I wonder if they're hiring. Can I see myself here? I wonder what they pay." This impending need to work is seeping into every part of my psyche. I wonder if it's my fault; if I just have a talent for finding the fake stuff, because the fake stuff looks like fun. That's got to be it. Jerks.

Yesterday I met with a dear dear friend in a wonderful part of St. Paul; the Crocus Hill/Grand Avenue area. We had a lovely fresh lunch at SHISH, a Middleastern/Greek place (highly recommended for their menu art alone, as well as the fantastic food), then walked around Grand Avenue for a while, as I am wont to do. I would love to work in one of the quirky little shops in that area, most disguised as houses. My friend and I talked about ourselves the right amount, laughed with each other at our mutual klutzery, and discussed a topic we often discuss: words and phrases. She is unwilling to use any phrase that she doesn't know the origin. She wouldn't use the phrase "white noise" until I looked it up for her. Also, there was a whole discussion about the phrase "picking your brain" that we had to work through. This is why we're such good friends; I love the nerdy research and trivia, and she loves the results. We started talking about words that don't belong in the English language. Ginormous. The embarrassing way Americans abbreviate everything, as if we're too lazy to say an entire word. As we talked, she commented that these words seem so childlike and young. As she said this, we saw a gummi worm on the pavement. We decided then and there, partly by accident that we would make a list of "Gummi Words" that irritate us and banish them from our vocabulary. I don't know where the list will be, but I like the idea.

So today I meet another friend, and we go do volunteer work. I am pumped about that. It'll be fun. We're doing Hoops for Hunger, packing 300,000 meals for starving people everywhere. I was so concerned by the Hoops part, when it's packing food. I think b/c it's in a sports center? I don't know, we'll have to find out. It's sponsored by the Lynx, which are a women's basketball team. That might be it. We're having a discussion about where we'll meet and where it actually is. Darn the Twin Cities for having more than one stadium!

Well, it's all sorted, we're good to go. We'll be in Minneapolis today, rather than St. Paul. When I moved here, I told myself I would be one of those people who likes both cities, not one or the other. But alas, it's true, you gravitate toward one city, whether you choose to or not. They are so different; Minneapolis is trendy and pricey, and St Paul has the classic architecture, the free stuff, the family stuff. I am a St. Paulian. I go to Minneapolis, when I need to :) It's not that I don't like it, I just prefer the laid back outdoorsier St. Paul (no offense, Lake Calhoun, I know you're very popular). Today I drink my tea to the volunteers. Cheers!

Today's Song of the Day is "When I Go" by Slow Club. I don't know why, the cadence just fits today.

http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/When_I_Go/21337684