My Week: An Experiment in Avoidance, and How Futile that was

Hello, Reader.

Did you think I died? I didn't die; I've been practicing my avoidance techniques this week. I just didn't want to hash out decisions I was making or tell you what was happening, because I felt defeated, and I wasn't really being realistic. But, everything is fine now, I guess. :)

I was offered a position at work at slightly higher pay, but I would have to work every other weekend. Coincidentally, this came the same week I joined the choir and orchestra at church. So I had to decide if I wanted to work and make more money, or stay in the choir. I don't know that I really have to choose. I don't think I do, but I may have to bow out of the Christmas program, which would be sad. But then I wouldn't have to try and get down the rhythm of this gospel syncopated version of Handel's Messiah that I am struggling with (in more ways than one). Anyway, I asked one of my managers what the hours would be like, and then I asked the other and got different answers. So I told them to talk on Wednesday and discuss my options, and we would talk about it on Thursday. Trouble was, on Thursday, my status had already been changed. It's fine, I was going to take it anyway. I have been staying a working about 35 hours a week anyway, and who knows how long they would be able to be that flexible with me, to let me stay whenever I want? Plus, if I'm going to be staying that many hours a week, I may as well get paid more for it. So it's all good, I just haven't had to work weekends in a few years. And it's only every other, so I can plan around it pretty well. Of course, the weekend I travel to Tennessee is one, as is the Christmas program at church, and all the rehearsals, but if I switch to the alternate weekend, I have to work with Team Member Valkyrie all the time, and that's just not going to be OK. It will be fine.

The reason I struggled so much is because I felt like Jim on The Office, when he was deciding whether to take the #2 position. If he took the job, then that was his career, his job. I felt the same way. If I take the position, then I'm here, and it's harder to work around it, and when people ask what I do, I have to say I'm a sales rep for a home improvement store. In my mind I can see Jon Lovitz in the movie Rat Race, jumping up and down screaming, "I don't want to work at Home Depot!" And I don't, so...

Anyway, forgive me for staying away, I just didn't want to hash all of this out on my blog, even though that's kind of the purpose of the blog. Plus my pastor's messages have really been kicking my tush lately, and while I'm sure he'll get a kick out of hearing, "Your messages have been really brutal lately, and I want to say thank you, but I don't, cause it's messing up my life..." I have only gone so far as to write on his Facebook page how he's kicking my rear. I suppose that would be the ultimate compliment for a pastor, but somehow it sounds a little...bijou. We'll work on that. Plus his whole house has been sick.

Anywho, I did have a day on Friday where I just got together with my bestie (forgive the gummi word) and watched Irish movies, ate Chinese and brownies and reminisced about our trip to the Emerald Isle, and that was lovely. Like an in-home spa day, complete with heat packs and toe separators :) I love my friends. When you lose a size because of your work, it's totally fine to pig out for an entire day, right? It reminded me of when my mom came down to visit me in Florida after the death of my Fiance. We decided we needed a break from the grieving family (let's face it, grieving families do STUPID things to each other), and we rented some movies and went to the store. We had the most comfortable King bed back at the hotel, and we just wanted to veg out (gummi) and take naps. All we could think about was getting back to that bed. We had both been so stressed, and didn't want to get out of bed for hours, so we bought whatever we wanted, because we just wanted a little of this, and a little of that. When we got back to the hotel and laid it all out, there was ice cream, grapefruits, candy, Chinese, candy, candy, candy, muffins, you name it. The whole table was covered. I wonder if she still has the picture. We did just eat a bit of this and a bit of that, but it became a TON of stuff. We had to share with the amazing staff at the hotel, who gave us beach balls and SWAG in return. Good times. Good times. Sometimes you just need a day like that to refresh yourself. I think this might have been the first day I did that since...well since 3 weeks ago when we did it with Pizza and Peanut Butter M&Ms....moving on... (in my defense, this is a VERY rare occurance. 3 weeks ago was the first time this year). Plus, here I am again, having taken a day to do NOTHING. Or 2.

So I was out walking the dog this morning, who scared up some crows in the field. They started screaming at him, and it made total sense how old crotchety women got the nickname crows. I could totally picture this old woman screaming at the dog. I watched FIDO the other night, in honor of Halloween (since I don't like scary movies unless they are funny, Shaun of the Dead and FIDO are about it for me). If you haven't seen it, FIDO is a zombie that becomes the family pet. There was this old woman in the movie, and she was an old crow. And now it makes sense. And now you're riding my stream of consciousness, which I normally save for my penpal, not for my blog, but there it is.

So, I have to go get ready to get my rear kicked again by my pastor, who is noble and good and won't settle for ritual-oriented, unreal people, so I leave you with the song of the day, which is:

Caedmon's Call: Hands of the Potter

http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/search/?query=hands%20of%20the%20potter

Ugggh... Brutal. By the way, I'm starting a new blog about my faith questions, ups and downs. It's personal and really hard to write, so you should know that it is not meant to be disrespectful, but is based on the thought that true faith is a seeking faith, and no question should be off limits. It's called the Wandering Sheep Diaries, and I haven't published any of it yet, because it's not easy to admit I think this way sometimes. I wanted to have it published by the Wander-Sheep, but it appears I can only publish as Sage Grasshopper...unless anyone out there has any tips on that :)